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Humorous valentines day quotes

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Humorous valentines day quotes
September 24, 2018 Holiday Thanks 5 comments

Hilarious Valentine's Day Quotations

Even though it has become a bit of a fad to hate Valentine's Day in recent years, it is still a widely celebrated holiday. Even though love should be shown every day of the year, Valentine's Day marks as a day to celebrate your love together in a meaningful way. Of course, we don't all need a special holiday to mark the event, but it can be just as romantic as an anniversary.

Whatever your views on Valentine's Day, below you'll find some funny quotes about V-Day and love.


Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.


Anonymous

Anonymous

Hoosier Farmer

Erich Segal

Anonymous

Aerosmith

Jules Renard

Peter Ustinov

Plato
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76. Cheese Stick: Let’s stick together
77. Fruit Leather: You are a berry good friend
79. PB&J Sandwiches: We stick together like PB&J

Clever sayings with school supplies

80. Crayons:You color my world, Valentine!
81. Ruler: You rule, Valentine
82. Highlighter:You’re the highlight of my day!
83. Glue: Let’s stick together
84. Pen/ Pencil: You’re just write for me

Clever sayings with toys

86. Playing cards: 52 things I love about you
87. Magnifying glass: I’ve got my eye on you
90. Bubbles: You blow me away, Valentine
93. Plastic zoo animals: I’m wild about you
101. Puzzle: We fit together perfectly
102. Bubbles: I’m bubbling with excitement that we’re friends
105. Cat (tattoo, sticker, eraser): I think you’re purrrrrfect
106. Mad libs: I’m mad about you
107. Owl (tattoo, sticker, eraser):  I’ll owl-ways be your friend
108. Boat: You float my boat
109. Crazy straw: You are ex-straw special

Clever sayings with everyday items

114. Search wood book: I searched and found the best Valentine
115. Google Eyes: I’ve got my eyes on you
116. Crazy straws: I’m crazy for you
117. Sewing kit: You’re sew special to me
119. Buttons: You’re as cute as a button
120. Magnet: Can’t resist your pull
121. Friendship bracelet: Our class would knot be the same without
122. Matches: We’re the perfect match
123. Handi wipes: You can count on me when things get sticky
125. Soap: I was soapin’ you’d be my Valentine
126. Hot pad: You warm my heart
127. Hammer: You make my heart pound
128. Candle: You light up my life
129. Comb: Honey, comb your hair we have a date tonight
130. Dry erase/ chalk board: I’m never board when you’re around
131. Playing cards: You are the King of my heart
134. Map/ globe: You mean the world to me
135. Magnets: Let’s stick together
136. Screwdriver: You drive me mad (in a good way)!
137. Socks: You knock my socks off
138. Watch: You make my heart go tick tock
139. Light bulb: I love you a whole watt
140. Paper/electric fan: You blow me away
141. Toothbrush: I can’t smile with out you
143. Cookie cutter: You’re a cut above the rest

Clever crafty sayings

144. Mustache: I mustache you a question? Will you be my Valentine?
145. Painted twigs: Stick with me, Valentine
146. Typewriter doodle: You’re just my type
147. Sheep doodle: I love ewe
148. Owl doodle: Owl be you’re friend forever
150. Clothes pins: I’d love to hang out with you
151. Rocket ship: You’re outta this world
152. Owl doodle: You’re a hoot
153. Deer doodle: You’re a deer to me
154. Maze: I think you’re a-maze-ing
155. Flower: I’d pick you any day
156. Thumbprint: Thumb-body loves you
158. Painted rocks: You rock, Valentine

If you are looking for more healthy Valentine snacks, here are 63 more ideas:

For even more candy puns and cute sayings, check out the Share the Love Series of the past:

If you have any other clever Valentine sayings to add to the list, leave it in the comments for everyone to see! Happy heart day, y’all!

Here are 25 hilarious Valentine's Day quotes that will make you laugh. Whether you are single or in a relationship you will get a kick out of these.

While marriage is a very significant day in a couple’s life, Valentine’s Day is also a romantic moment to revisit your sweet memories and love for each other. This once in a year event is widely celebrated, mostly by couples, to show affection and care for their partners. Hence, expect the town to be painted by red and speckled with flowers, balloons and chocolates. Well, February 14 is the best day to spread love all around the world, whether you are happily in love with someone or with yourself!

As the most romantic day of the year, let your partner feel your love. It doesn’t need to be grand and expensive though. Exchanging of gifts to one another or surprising him or her for a dinner date may be the safest thing to do during Valentine’s, but there are lots of fascinating ways to make this day more memorable and moving. This year, be a little more romantic and unleash the writer within you. If you think you can’t do it, don’t worry because we got you covered with these funny Valentine’s Quotes that are sweet and humorous at the same time. No need to spend crazy, expensive gifts because with these funny and romantic words, you will win their hearts for the second time, in a heartbeat!

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day to myself. I love you.

Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

 

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Hilarious Valentine's Day Quotations

Even though it has become a bit of a fad to hate Valentine's Day in recent years, it is still a widely celebrated holiday. Even though love should be shown every day of the year, Valentine's Day marks as a day to celebrate your love together in a meaningful way. Of course, we don't all need a special holiday to mark the event, but it can be just as romantic as an anniversary.

Whatever your views on Valentine's Day, below you'll find some funny quotes about V-Day and love.


Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.


Anonymous

Anonymous

Hoosier Farmer

Erich Segal

Anonymous

Aerosmith

Jules Renard

Peter Ustinov

Plato
Page: 1 | 2
More holiday quotes
Last update:

Try something original this year and include one of these funny Valentine's Day Quotes on your card! Make sure recipient has the same sense.

15 Funny Valentine's Day Quotes to Warm Your Cold, Dead Heart

Valentine’s day is all about putting a smile on someone you care about. Is the perfect occasion to tease your lover with the naughty humor of these Valentine’s Day quotes. Sometimes you want to be bold and move away from the traditional valentine’s practice where all people want to send are plain love quotes. Sometimes you want to send a valentines message to just a friend or family which is not necessarily mushy. You want to make it funny, enjoyable and adventurous and you just know they will love it. There is nothing that does the trick more than to throw bits of humor in it that will leave the receiver completely cracked. It can either be sick humor or plain humor depending on the recipient. We will show you just how to bring out the joke without comprising on the theme of the day with our list of funny valentine’s day quotes. If you want to win your lover’s heart, use humor.

  • Love is a grave mental disease. – By Plato
  • Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – By Cathy Carlyle
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. – By Groucho Marx
  • Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. – By Helen Rowland
  • Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. – By Mickey Rooney
  • Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. – By Thomas Szasz
  • I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. – By Dorothy Parker
  • All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – By Charles M. Schulz
  • I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. – By Tracy Smith

 

  • I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. – By Hilaire Belloc
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? – By Author Unknown
  • If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.- By Maya Angelou
  • Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. – By Groucho Marx
  • It is impossible to love and be wise. – By Francis Bacon
  • It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. – By Fred Allen
  • It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception. – By Ally McBeal
  • Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the braille weren’t so damned much fun. – By Armistead Maupin, Maybe the Moon
  • Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. – By Jonathon Swift

 

Funny Valentines Day Quotes Pictures

 Hilarious Love Quotes

  • A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. – By Ingrid Bergman
  • Love – By a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. – By Author Unknown
  • Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. – By Lynda Barry
  • Love is being stupid together. – By Paul Valery
  • Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. – By Judith Viorst
  • Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion. – By Mirabeau
  • Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. – By Julius Gordon
  • Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – By Robert Heinlein
  • Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. – By Hoosier Farmer
  • Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. – By Author Unknown

 

  • Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely. – By Basta
  • Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. – By Rose Franken
  • Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, – By but not for love. – By William Shakespeare
  • My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. – By Rita Rudner
  • No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. – By Joyce Brothers
  • Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – By Henry Kissinger
  • One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again. – By Judith Viorst
  • One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – By Oscar Wilde
  • The art of love is largely the art of persistence. – By Albert Ellis
  • The bravest thing that men do is love women. – By Mort Sahl
  • The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love. – By Margaret Atwood
  • The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. – By Blaise Pascal

 

  • The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods. – By Theodor Reik
  • The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. – By George Bernard Shaw
  • The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead. – By Ann Landers
  • There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars. – By John Kenneth Galbraith
  • Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. – Yiddish Proverb
  • To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. – By H. L. Mencken
  • Without love, what are we worth? Eighty- By nine cents! Eighty- By nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. – By M*A*S*H, Hawkeye
  • Women are cursed, and men are the proof. – By Rosanne Barr
  • Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. – By Mae West
  • A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. – By Helen Rowland
  • A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. – By Coco Chanel

 

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humorous valentines day quotes

If you love to celebrate Valentine's Day with crafts these fun Valentine's . and quotes you might like these 30 Happy Valentine's Day Quotes.

humorous valentines day quotes
Written by Brarg
5 Comments
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