Даже путешествия н сагах обязательно происходили лишь в тесных, замкнутых пространствах, в подземных пещерах или в ухоженных крохотных долинках в обрамлении гор, закрывающих от взора весь остальной мир. Объяснение этому могло быть только.
Давным-давно, быть может еще до основания Диаспара, произошло нечто такое, что не только лишило Человека любознательности, честолюбивого порыва к неизведанному, но и отвратило его от Звезд -- назад, к дому, искать убежища в узеньком замкнутом мирке последнего города 3емли.
Он отказался от Вселенной и возвратился в искусственное чрево Диаспара. Пылающее неостановимое стремление, что вело его когда-то через бездны Галактики, сквозь мрак к островам туманностей за ее пределами, бесследно угасло. На протяжении неисчислимых эпох ни один космический корабль не появлялся в пределах Солнечной системы.
I don't say “Thank You” as often as I should and I doubt I'm the only one.
In fact, I'm starting to believe that “Thank You” is the most under-appreciated and under-used phrase on the planet. It is appropriate in nearly any situation and it is a better response than most of the things we say. Let's cover 7 common situations when we say all sorts of things, but should say “Thank You” instead.1
We often ruin compliments by devaluing the statement or acting overly humble. Internally, you might think this prevents you from appearing arrogant or smug.
The problem is that by deflecting the praise of a genuine compliment, you don't acknowledge the person who was nice enough to say something. Simply saying “Thank You” fully acknowledges the person who made the compliment and allows you to enjoy the moment as well.
Example: “Your dress looks great.”
Example: “Wow! 20 points tonight. You played really well in the game.”
Example: “You killed your presentation today!”
There is something empowering about fully accepting a compliment. When you deflect praise, you can't really own it. When you just say “Thank You,” you let the weight of the compliment sink in and become yours. Saying “Thank You” gives your mind permission to be built up by the compliments you receive.
Getting compliments should be fun and enjoyable, but we often ruin the experience. There’s no need to sabotage compliments that come your way. Accept them with grace and enjoy the moment. 2
Being late is the worst. It's stressful for the person who is running late and it's disrespectful to the person who is waiting.
It might seem strange to thank someone for dealing with your hassle, but that's exactly the correct response. Most people stumble in the door and say, “Sorry I'm late.”
The problem is this response still makes the situation about you. Sorry, I'm late. Saying “Thank You” turns the tables and acknowledges the sacrifice the other person made by waiting. Thank you for waiting. 3
Example: You walk in the door 14 minutes late.
When we make a mistake, someone else often makes a sacrifice. Our default response is to apologize for our failure, but the better approach is to praise their patience and loyalty. Thank them for what they did despite your error.
When someone comes to you with bad news, it can be awkward. You want to be a good friend, but most people don't know what to say. I know I've felt that way before.
Often times, we think it's a good idea to add a silver lining to the problem. “Well, at least you have…”
What we fail to realize is that it doesn't matter if you don't know what to say. All you really need is to be present and thank them for trusting you.
Example: Your co-worker's mother passed away recently.
Example: Your brother lost his job.
Example: Your friend's pet just died.
In times of suffering, we don't need to hear words to ease the pain as much as we need someone to share our pain. When you don't know what to say, just say “Thank You” and be there.
Feedback can be very helpful, but we rarely see it that way. Whether it is an unflattering performance review from your boss or an email from an unhappy customer, the standard reaction is to get defensive. That's a shame because the correct response is to simply say, “Thank You” and use the information to improve.
Example: “This work isn't good enough. I thought you would do better.”
Example: “I bought your product last week and it already broke. I am not happy with this experience.”
Nobody likes to fail, but failure is just a data point. Respond to helpful feedback with thanks and use it to become better. 4
Sometimes criticism isn't helpful at all. It's just vindictive and mean. I've written about how to deal with haters previously, but one of the best approaches is to just say thank you and move on.
When you thank someone for criticizing you, it immediately neutralizes the power of their statements. If it’s not a big deal to you, then it can’t grow into a larger argument.
Example: “This might be good advice for beginners, but anyone who knows what they are doing will find this useless.”
Example: “Your statement is the dumbest thing I've read all week.”
Releasing the need to win every argument is a sign of maturity. Someone on the internet said something wrong? So what. Win the argument by the way you live your life.
This shows up a lot in the gym. Everybody has an opinion about what your technique should look like. I think most people are just trying to be helpful, but hearing someone's opinion about you when you didn't ask for it can be annoying.
One time, someone pointed out some flaws in my squat technique in a video I posted online. I responded by sarcastically asking if he had a video of himself doing it correctly. Somewhere deep in my mind, I assumed that if I reminded him that his technique wasn't perfect, then I would feel better about the fact that mine wasn't perfect either. That's an unnecessary and defensive response.
The better approach? Just say “Thank You.”
Example: “You know, you should really keep your hips back when you do that exercise.”
Pointing out others faults doesn't remove your own. Thank people for raising your self-awareness, even if it was unsolicited.
When in doubt, just say thank you. There is no downside. Are you honestly worried about showing too much gratitude to the people in your life?
“Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you should.
“Should I tip him?” If you don't, at least say thank you.
Say thank you, more often.
Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for your advice whenever I need it. Thanks for the fun time. You are my inspiration to be a normal person!.
Question: I have a crushing inability to write proper thank-you notes. Can you offer me some guidelines? —Helen
Answer: I was wondering when you were going to ask that question, and frankly, I’m a little disappointed it took you so long. Somewhere in between your mom making you sit down with your Peanuts® stationery and you shooting off an email, you completely lost touch with the concept of simple thank-you notes. Now that you’re a grown-up, an email just won’t do, and more is expected of you than scratching out ‘Thanks for the present, you rock!’
Grandma might not say anything to you, but trust me: She and her friends are probably at this very moment sighing over how young people today just don’t have manners.
As extra motivation, I will also grudgingly tell you the hidden secret of thank-you notes: They improve the frequency and quality of the gifts you receive. People like being appreciated, and if they feel you actually notice the nice things they do for you, they’re more likely to give an encore performance. Do not, however, use this as a strategy to avoid writing thank-yous to those who regularly give gifts you do not like. Every gift deserves a thank-you. Even the ‘Keep On Truckin’’ blacklight poster your crazy Uncle Alvarez gave you when you moved into the dorms.
I assure you, writing thank-yous is easier than you remember. Get yourself some stationery, plain note cards or a selection of attractive postcards (yes, postcards are perfectly acceptable!), and proper postage. Avoid the pre-inscribed ‘Thank you!’ cards in loopy script, as there are times you’ll want to write notes where that aesthetic feels all wrong. Better to choose paper you like. Stay away from full-size sheets—note cards are best, as your message will be brief, and would look silly swimming around on a page that large. Store all of these items somewhere easily accessible and preferably in plain sight so you won’t hesitate too long or forget too easily. Say, the top drawer of your desk or on a bookshelf at eye level or below.
If you want to know when you get a genuine pass on writing a note, the litmus test is simple: Do I live under the same roof as the giver? If the answer is ‘yes,’ you need not write a thank-you note (although a thank-you Post-It might be a nice touch).
I’m not going to go all Miss Manners on your ass and get into the social intricacies and delicate situations that surround thank-you note writing, as I was taught that a solid thank-you note will transcend all complicated situations—and I have seen no evidence to the contrary.
There is a six-point formula to the proper thank-you: Learn it, know it, memorize it, and it will never fail you.
Dear Aunt Sally,
That’s the easy part, but you’d be surprised how many people forget it. Dale Carnegie taught us people love to hear their own names and Direct Marketing is sure we also love to read them in ink. That’s right, ink. Blue-black is always the number-one choice, but black will suffice in a pinch. Don’t let a whimsical marker color be the most stunning part of your note: instead let the words sing without the amplification of rainbow hues. Even if your handwriting is poor, you must still hand-write your notes. Do not type them or, worse, use a word processor. No excuses.
Thank you so much for the slippers.
This first paragraph seems like it would be the easiest, but it is actually the most complicated. Beware the just writing trap. You are not ‘just writing to say’ as in I am just writing to say; that’s stating the obvious. If the giver is reading, clearly you have already written. Therefore use the present-perfect tense, which essentially means write as if whatever you say is happening in the moment.
Also—and this is important—never directly mention money. ‘Thank you for the hundred bucks’ could instead be ‘Thank you for your generosity.’ All cash denominations become ‘your generosity’ or ‘your kindness.’ If you feel the giver overspent, the farthest you can go is appreciated: ‘Your generosity is appreciated,’ or ‘It is such an extravagant gift—your kindness is appreciated.’
If you’re writing to thank someone for an intangible (such as them putting you up at their place while you were in town for the weekend), first define what the intangible thing is, and then make the gift sound as attractive as possible. In other words, don’t say: ‘Thanks for letting us crash at your place.’ Instead say: ‘Thank you for your hospitality.’ Don’t worry if it sounds too simple; the point of writing the note is to create a simple expression of a heartfelt sentiment.
It gets very chilly here in the winter, so they will get a lot of use when winter comes.
Say something nice about the item and how you will use it. Let’s say it’s something you actually love and use incessantly—then say so: ‘Ever since I got the slippers I have only taken them off to shower and go to work. I’d wear them to the office if I thought I could get away with it.’
But don’t lie, even though some etiquette books may tell you it’s okay. After all, there’s always a truth that can be extracted. Let’s say you hate the slippers. How to say thanks? Find the one thing about them that’s nice and discuss it—but don’t get carried away. ‘They are such a lovely shade of blue’ works, and is more honest than ‘These slippers make my heart sing like a choir of angels,’ which is overkill. If it was a gesture, like letting you stay at their place, you can follow the lines of ‘It’s so nice to make a personal connection while traveling. I really appreciated my time with your family.’
If the gift was cash, allude to how you will use the money, but do not itemize your planned purchases line by line, instead simply say: ‘It will be a great help when we purchase our new home/toaster/lava lamp/whatever.’
You can get arty here, but not flowery. It’s a fine line. Small, realistic statements like ‘I put the flowers on the kitchen table and they are still looking fresh and beautiful after a week,’ or ‘I don’t know which is more fun, actually using the Cuisinart, or reading recipes and thinking I could do that in the Cuisinart!’ Having fun is alright, so have at it.
It was great to see you at my birthday party, and I hope to see you at Dad’s retirement in February.
Why did they give you the gift? What does it mean to your relationship with the giver? Let the giver know how they fit into the fabric of your life.If it’s someone you see infrequently, say whatever you know: ‘Mom tells me you’re doing great at Stanford, and I hope we cross paths soon.’ If it’s someone you’re in regular contact with: ‘I’ll call you soon, but I wanted to take time to say thanks.’ If it’s some errant family member you have little or no contact with, simply go with ‘You are in my thoughts and I hope you are well.’ Nice, right?
Thanks again for your gift.
It’s not overkill to say thanks again. So say it.
Simply wrap it up. Use whatever works for you: Love, Yours Truly, With Love. Then sign your name and you’re done.
Any news about your life. This isn’t the time to brag about your new job, a hot girlfriend, or number of surgeries. The thank-you is exclusively about thanking somebody for their kindness. While you may want more than anything to show them once and for all you amounted to something, this is not the forum. Save that for your annual Christmas letter.
Now get it in the mail. Even if your friends and relatives aren’t of the note-writing variety, be the one who sets the precedent. Thank-you-note writing is one of the loveliest traditions to have been utterly compromised by the information age. Let’s start a movement to revive a little gracious living.
TMN Contributing Writer Leslie Harpold was a pioneer in web design and online publishing. At the time of her death in 2006, she lived in Grosse Pointe, Mich., where she was working on a novel and “dreaming alternately of an über-urban or ultra-rural future, as she is not one to do things by halves.” More by Leslie Harpold
Thank you for your suggestion on how to make our deliveries more efficient. I agree that we should begin using an electronic scheduling system. It is apparent that you have thought a lot about implementing such a system, and I would like to talk with you about it. I have forwarded this message to my secretary who will call you for an appointment.
Thanks again for your message. The ideas and suggestions of innovative, thinking people are always welcome.
Thank you for your letter suggesting improvements and additions to our monthly catalog. This is exactly the kind of input we need to better serve our members' needs. I am sending your comments directly to the department manager. We welcome your involvement and will certainly consider implementing your ideas in future publications.
The Doe Company is committed to providing members with the services they need to make shopping by mail easy and worthwhile. As members continue to express their preferences, we will be able to respond with expanded and improved services.
Thank you for your excellent suggestions regarding the layout of the parking lot. Indeed, the lot is in need of repainting, and I want you to meet with the parking lot people to discuss your plan before they repaint over the old lines. Such thoughtful suggestions from our employees are the basis of most of our growth. Please feel free to submit any reasonable suggestion to the suggestion box, and thank you again.
Thank you for your candor in suggesting that we investigate our banker's record. We have done so, and we found that, while he has done nothing criminal, our money will be better off under someone else's more watchful eye. Good suggestions around here do not go unrewarded. I have enclosed a modest Suggestion Award bonus to help keep those creative thoughts flowing. Accept it with our thanks.
Thank you for your letter to Mr. Doe regarding your observations and suggestions. Mr. Doe appreciates your comments and has asked me to respond on his behalf.
Your ideas for (list ideas) are very much appreciated. Our development team welcomes unsolicited recommendations such as yours. We discover many of our most popular features are a result of comments from our customers. We are always grateful to hear from you and encourage you to pass along your thoughts.
Your patronage and continuing goodwill are very important to us. We look forward to serving your future needs.
Thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for your advice whenever I need it. Thanks for the fun time. You are my inspiration to be a normal person!.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to be thanked in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:
Even though the gift giver attended the shower in your honor and you had a chance to say thanks for her gift, you should still send a written note.
Each wedding gift should be acknowledged with a written note within three months of receipt of the gift. It’s best to write the notes as soon as possible after gifts arrive, however. Write a note even if you have thanked the giver in person.
Anyone who sends a present, or a card with a personally written message, should receive a note in return.
Thank-you notes should be written as soon as the patient feels well enough—or a friend or relative can write the notes to acknowledge the gifts. It’s also okay to call or email close friends rather than write. The important point is to be sure the gift is acknowledged in a timely fashion, not to create a burden for the person who is ill or recovering.
Everyone who has sent a personal note, flowers, or a donation should get a written thank-you. A close friend or relative can write the notes on the recipient’s behalf.
This always reminds me of when I was a teenager, and my mother gave me a small sheet of paper that said: “A smile and a thank you won't cost you a dime, but.
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