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How to write thank you cards for funeral

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How to write thank you cards for funeral
May 05, 2019 Houseguest Thanks 1 comment

Он рисовал им город таким, каким увидел его в последний. Он описывал город, дремлющий на груди пустыни, возводил его башни, подобно словленным радугам, сверкающие на фоне неба. Из волшебного сундучка памяти он извлекал песни, написанные в честь Диаспара поэтами прошлого, он рассказывал о легионе людей, потратившим долгие жизни, чтобы приумножить красоту города.

Никто, говорил он своим слушателям, не в состоянии исчерпать все сокровища города за любой -- даже немыслимо долгий -- срок. Некоторое время он подробно живописал чудеса, созданные жителями Диаспара.

Funerals can be emotionally exhausting, and many people feel overwhelmed at the prospect of having to write individual thank you notes for all the funeral flowers. A little practical advice can help you write heartfelt words to express your gratitude.

Examples of Thank You Notes for Sympathy Flowers

Your relationship with the giver(s) of the flowers will determine the overall tone of your message. Regardless of whom you're thanking, try to make the note personal to them so they know you truly noticed their thoughtfulness.

Related Articles

Sample One - Personal Funeral Flower Thank You

You can be much more personal when you're thanking family members for their flowers.

Dear Aunt Eileen,

I'm so glad you could make it to Vern's funeral, and your flowers were
one of my favorite arrangements of all. It meant the world to me to
have you there, and I know Vern would have felt the same way.

Love,

Caroline

Sample Two -Thank You Note for Flowers From a Close Friend

The following note is suitable for a close friend.

Dear Sally,

Thank you so much for coming to Bill's funeral.
The flowers you sent were beautiful and meant a lot
to me. I have them on my mantle, and I think of our friendship
whenever I look at them.

I miss Bill immensely, and I'm glad I can count on you to help
me through this difficult time. Thanks for being such a good friend.

With appreciation,

Jennifer

Sample Three - Thank You Notes for Funeral Flowers From Neighbors

Thanking your neighbors is similar to thanking a friend.

Dear Tom and Jeanne,

Bailey would have loved the sunflowers you sent to the funeral.
After all these years of being neighbors, I know you must have known
they were her favorites since she filled the yard with them year
after year. Thank you so much for being such wonderful neighbors,
and I'm so glad to have your support.

Truly,

James

Sample Four - Formal Thank You Cards for Funeral Flowers

For a more formal relationship, the following note will be acceptable.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson,

Thank you for your kindness in sending flowers
to the funeral home for my mother's funeral.
The arrangement was beautiful and held so
many of the flowers mother enjoyed.

Gratefully,

Claire

Sample Five - Thank You Notes for Sympathy Flowers From Coworkers

The following style note would work well when thanking the deceased's coworkers for an arrangement.

Dear Tom, Jake and Julie,

Thank you so much for the lovely arrangement you sent to Mark's
funeral. He always talked about how much he enjoyed working with
the three of you, and I know he would have been very touched
by your thoughtfulness.

Sincerely,

Jane

Addressing the Thank You Note

Once you have written the thank you note, you are ready to send it. Place the card in a matching envelope. If the card was from a family, address it accordingly.

For an example, if Mr. and Mrs. Smith signed the flower card and included the names of their three children, be sure to address all names that were listed on the card. For a family, you can write Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family on the envelope. If five people's names are on the card that came with the flowers, thank each of them, mentioning them by name. These might be colleagues who have joined together to purchase an arrangement of flowers. Make sure you include all of their names on both the inside of the card and when addressing the envelope.

Writing Thank You Notes for Flowers After the Funeral

Don't try to write all of your thank you notes at once. If you have a number of cards to write, just plan to send two or three a day. You have just lost a special person in your life, and no doubt, your emotions will be raw. Surround yourself with friends and family who will support you as you take care of the many tasks in front of you.

It is important to lean on your loved ones help you through a difficult time. Learn ideas of what to write in a funeral thank you card.

Learn why people trust wikiHow

How to Write a Thank You Note After a Funeral

Sample MessagesGathering SuppliesDeciding What to SaySending the NotesShow 1 more...Show less...Article SummaryQuestions & AnswersRelated Articles

This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 14 references. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article meets our high standards.

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After the death of a loved one, attending to the niceties of etiquette might be the last thing you want to do. Nevertheless, it's an important part of life to acknowledge others' kindness in times of grief and hardship. Sending a short, simple thank you note is not only basic etiquette, but also a thoughtful way to convey your appreciation for those who were involved in the lives of your late loved one.

Steps

Part 1

Gathering Supplies

  1. 1

    Compile a list of people to thank. A potential list could include the director and staff of the funeral home, as well as people who sent flowers, prepared a meal, or otherwise helped arrange the service. Be sure to send a note of thanks to the officiant who conducted the services. If someone expressed an especially meaningful sentiment to you at the funeral, feel free to include that person on the list, as well.[1]
    • You will want to have a notepad and pen handy to jot down each person's name and what they contributed. It's likely to be too much to try to remember on your own. You can delegate this task to another family member, but be sure that they get the first and last names of donors and what they gave or did for the services.
    • People to include on your list are: pallbearers, officiants, musicians, those who made any kind of donation (food, memorial, or flowers), and those who helped you in a tangible way with the arrangements (contacting the funeral home or babysitting your children, for example).[2]
    • Keep in mind that you do not need to send thank you notes to every person who attended the funeral. Only those who went above and beyond in their service or assistance need thank you notes. Everyone else can simply be thanked verbally at the service.[3]
  2. 2

    Decide between cards or stationery. There are many choices in thank you card design. Choose a card that looks elegant and understated. Or, if you prefer, you can buy nice stationery and fully hand-write your notes. The design, wording, and cards/stationery are ultimately matters of personal preference.[4]
    • Generally you should avoid sending an email or ecard in place of a handwritten thank you note, as these can seem impersonal.
  3. 3

    Choose blank thank you cards so you’ll have room to write. Regardless of what style of thank you note you select, look for blank cards or cards with minimal writing inside them. This way you will have space to write, and your thanks will stand out.[5]

  4. 4

    Keep it simple. Although etiquette is important, do not stress yourself out over these thank you notes. This is an instance of it being the thought that counts. Don’t worry about sending the wrong kind of card or choosing an ugly stationery. You are grieving, and these notes are simply a way for you to thank those who helped you during a tough time.

Part 2

Deciding What to Say

  1. 1

    Speak from the heart. Let the person know how much it meant to you that they were there for you during your time of need and that it meant a lot to you that they contributed in some way. There are many ways to approach the wording in your thank you notes, and all of them depend on what the person did for you and your loved ones. You might simply write two sentences thanking them for thinking of you at this time of great loss in your life and letting them know that it meant a lot to you.[6]
    • If you are especially close to the person you’re thanking, feel free to include a personal anecdote or story from the deceased’s life, if you share one with whomever you’re thanking. Personalizing your thank you notes is always a nice touch, but certainly don’t feel that you must do this.
  2. 2

    Be specific. In your thank you notes, reference specifically what the person or group you’re thanking contributed after your loved one passed. Whether it was a meal, flowers, or a memorial donation in their honor, specify what you’re thanking them for and let them know that their thoughtfulness meant a lot to you.[7]
    • Begin your thank you note generally and build to more specifics. For example, good starting points would say something general, such as "Thank you for your kindness during this difficult time" or "Our family appreciates your support during this difficult time."[8]
    • Then you can build to how they helped you specifically. After thanking them for their kindness if they delivered a meal, for example, you might say something like "The meal you sent us was wonderful because it made one less thing for me to worry about. We truly appreciated it." The key is to thank them for their specific contribution.[9]
  3. 3

    Avoid mentioning specific dollar amounts. If you’re writing a thank you note to someone who gave a monetary donation in memory of your loved one, thank them for their donation, but don’t mention how much they gave. Simply say that you are thankful for their generosity in honoring your deceased loved one.[10]
    • Good phrasing for a monetary donation might read like "Thank you for your generosity in our time of grief. The donation in honor of [deceased's name] means a lot to us." This way you convey your appreciation without mentioned how much they gave.[11]
  4. 4

    Don’t feel obligated to write long, detailed notes. Two or three sentences is sufficient to communicate your gratitude. The act of actually taking time to send individual thank you notes speaks volumes about how thankful you are. Don’t feel like you need to write long paragraphs to communicate your thankfulness.[12]
    • Sign the notes either with your own name or “Family of [Deceased’s Name].”

Part 3

Sending the Notes

  1. 1

    Try to send them within two weeks. General etiquette rules dictate that you need to send thank you notes within two weeks of the funeral. Your friends and loved ones know you’re grieving, so if you take longer to send the notes out, don’t worry. A late thank you note is better than no thank you note at all.[13]

  2. 2

    Solicit help if you need it. If the prospect of thanking dozens of people after the death of a loved one feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask those around you for help. Even if it’s sending someone to the post office to buy you stamps or envelopes, delegate tasks to close friends or family members.[14]

  3. 3

    Remember that thank you notes are not a requirement. Finally, don’t feel bad if you don’t get around to thank you notes. While they are a key component of good etiquette, during times of grief, etiquette can take a backseat to our mourning. So if you can’t emotionally get through the thank you notes, don’t beat yourself up for not finishing them.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • Question

    Should I sign or write something additional on a pre-printed thank you card from the funeral home?

    Only if you want to, perhaps to a special person or someone who did something special, such as read or sang at the funeral or helped with the wake or something. It is not really expected as people know you have suffered a loss, but a quick line for a special thing done or extra generous memorial donation would be fine.

  • Question

    How do I sign the letter?

    As it says above, sign the notes either with your own name or “Family of [Deceased’s Name]."

  • Question

    I have some beautiful blank note cards with my Mother's name imprinted on the front of the card. Since she was the one who passed, would it be appropriate to use those cards instead of using ones with "thank you" on the front? I can't afford to buy new cards, so I thought this might be okay.

    Yes, you can definitely use the blank cards with your mother's name on them. On the inside message you can express your thanks to whomever you send the cards.

  • Question

    Who is the proper person to thank for funeral flowers that came from a group?

    Write a thank you note to the group, not one person. Send the note to the leader or someone you know that is involved. Be sure to address the entire group, as the note will be shared with the group.

  • Question

    What is the best way to write a thank you note after receiving funeral flowers? Should I describe the type of flowers I received?

    Write something like this: "I wanted to thank you for the flowers you sent me. They were very thoughtful." If the flowers carried a meaning you're away of, then you could make a mention of that (see the meaning of flowers) or you could mention that they were the deceased's favorite, if this was the truth, such as: "Thank you for the flowers. They were Marie-Claire's favorites. I know she'd have appreciated your caring thoughts."

  • Question

    How do I thank a friend of my brother's for paying for and preparing the after funeral meal?

    I've written something along the lines of: "Thank you for the kindness and caring you showed in providing such a delicious dinner. Your love for [the deceased] was so sincere in every dish - and all homemade! For many of us, this was the first real meal we could sit down and enjoy since s/he passed. Your thoughtfulness is so appreciated. Sincerely, the ___ Family"

  • Question

    What do I say to the undertaker who organized the funeral?

    Thank them for their time and compliment them on their planning abilities. A phone call, letter, or quick in-person visit will do.

  • Question

    What do I say to the person who performed the music for the service?

    Say something like: Thank you so much for generously donating your time and beautiful talent at such a difficult time for me, it's greatly appreciated.

  • Question

    How do I write a thank you to a Sunday school class for their sympathy and a memorial?

    Say thank you by going in person into their class. You could award small prizes such as a piece of jewelry, a book, a gift voucher, etc. to class members who were particularly helpful. Or, throw the whole class a morning tea.

  • Question

    How do I write a thank-you note as a widow with young children?

    If you're struggling to write the card with young children around, ask a family member or friend to mind them for a hour or two. If you don't know what to say, keep it simple and don't be afraid to let tears flow.

Show more answers

Ask a Question

Tips

  • Don’t try to do everything yourself. Try to enlist the help of willing family members and close friends. Writing thank you notes might help you with your grief, but it can be hard to focus on tasks after a major loss. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

What You'll Need

  • Notepad
  • Pen
  • Thank you cards or stationery
  • Stamps

Sending Thank You Notes After a Funeral

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After the loss of a loved one, most people receive a variety of items such as gift baskets, floral arrangements, mass cards, and sympathy cards. Some may wonder if all of these things should be acknowledged with a sympathy thank you card. While it is always recommended that a floral arrangement, gift basket or mass card is acknowledged with a thank you card it is considered optional to send one when receiving sympathy cards. Sometimes, the sheer volume of cards received makes it challenging. However, the act of sending out these cards can actually assist with the grieving process.

In recognizing all the people who were so thoughtful, loving, kind, and supportive, it can help the bereaved to realize they are not alone. Writing out these greeting cards may bring about thoughts and memories of the loved one they lost, helping them to grieve.

If you are in the process of composing sympathy thank you cards, you may want to include a personal thought or two about your deceased loved one that is appropriate for the recipient or you may want to keep your note very simple by saying “Thank you for your expression of kindness.” The type of message you include depends on your relationship with the recipient. If the card is being sent to a co-worker or client the message might be brief; with family and close friends something with more meaning would be appropriate.

If a religious ceremony was performed at the funeral, you may want to send a kind note to the clergyman. It would also be nice to send a note of thanks to any special participants of the funeral service such as a pallbearer or someone who gave a speech. If you choose to send out sympathy thank you cards, an appropriate time frame to get your cards in the mail is two weeks following the funeral. However, it is understandable that you are going through a very difficult time filled with grief and sorrow. If you don’t get to the cards for several weeks or even a few months, it’s ok. Remember, you’re not only saying thank you, you’re also helping the grieving process. So do what you are emotionally capable of handling…your family and friends will understand.


WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Thank You Quotes Notes,Sayings,Messages,

Thank you notes are not expected after a funeral. For example, if someone went to the funeral home to help make arrangements or babysat.

Memorial Thank You Cards

Sympathy Thank You Notes

If you live long enough, there will come a time when you will experience the decease of someone close to you.

It's inevitable.

At such a time, the love and support of family and friends is absolutely invaluable.

Below, you’ll find sample sympathy thank you notes that can be used for loved ones who have been there for you during your time of loss.

Or, perhaps you need to send a sympathy note to someone else who has recently lost a loved one. But what do you say? And how?

To aid you in expressing your condolences to others, we've posted a mix of sympathy notes on the latter half of this page.

Personalize them

with specific phrases that describe your knowledge or experience with the deceased--be it first or second-hand, formal or informal.

Let sincerity be your guide here.

Showing compassion, while keeping it real, will always be appreciated.

Sample Sympathy Thank You Notes

Sympathy Thank You Notes for

Flowers, Cards, etc.

Dear ______________________:

The kind, generosity of good friends like you has been a great help to us during this very difficult time.

My (father, mother, grandparents, family) and I would like to offer our most sincere thanks for the

(flowers, card, or other gift) you sent in memory of (name of deceased).

Thank you so very much for your loving support.

Sincerely yours,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear _______________________:

Your loving support after (name of deceased)’s passing meant a great deal to our family. The gorgeous white roses you sent were fabulous. I know that (name of deceased) would have loved them.

On behalf of my family, I offer you our most sincere gratitude and love.

Yours Sincerely,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


More Sympathy Thank You Notes for

Tributes, Food, etc. Dear ______________________:

(Name of deceased) was most precious to our family. Thank you for honoring (his/her) memory with your very meaningful tribute. We will be forever grateful for the loving memories you have shared with us and we’ll treasure them for a lifetime.

With love,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear _______________________:

I know that you loved (name of deceased), and count his recent passing a great loss.

Please know that we greatly appreciated the (name food item) you brought by.

It was most delicious and we know you prepared it with love.

Thanks so much for thinking of us at this very difficult time.

Sincerely yours,


More Sympathy Thank You Notes


Dear ____________________:

There are simply no words to express my heartfelt thanks for the sympathy you have extended toward our family during this time of loss.

We are deeply grateful to you.

With our love,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Dear _____________________:

You have been a rock to my family during this time of loss. I know that (name of deceased) treasured your friendship, and that the two of you shared much love and respect. Your presence and willingness to help with anything needed was a great comfort.

Please know that we are deeply grateful for your kind devotion.

With our love,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Return from Sympathy Thank You Notes to Thank You Note Examples and Tips Home


how to write thank you cards for funeral

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Funeral Planning : How to Write a Funeral Thank You Card

HOW TO WRITE AN APPRECIATION CARD AFTER FUNERAL If you are writing an appreciation message for someone in particular, you can.

how to write thank you cards for funeral
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