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Sarcastic thanksgiving quotes
September 30, 2018 Teacher Thanks 1 comment

Вот с тех-то времен -- самых, возможно, продолжительных в истории -- и появились легенды о Галактической Империи. Но все это оказалось забыто в ходе трагедии, которая подвела Человека к его Империя существовала, по меньшей мере, миллион лет.

Надо полагать, она пережила множество кризисов, возможно, даже войн, но все это просто потерялось на фоне величественного движения социумов разумных существ в направлении зрелости. Мы можем гордиться той ролью, которую наши предки сыграли во всей этой истории,-- сказал Коллитрэкс после очередной паузы. -- Даже достигнув плато в развитии культуры, они ничуть не утратили инициативы. Здесь нам придется иметь дело, скорее, с умозаключениями, нежели с конкретными фактами, но представляется, что эксперименты, которые одновременно ознаменовали падение Империи и венчание ее славой, были вдохновлены и направлялись именно Философия, лежавшая в основе этих экспериментов, выглядит следующим Контакт с другими представителями разумной жизни показал землянам, насколько глубоко суждение мыслящего существа об окружающем мире зависит от его физического облика и от тех органов чувств, что находится в его распоряжении.

Thanksgiving is all about having fun and expressing gratitude. With that in mind, Saying Images shares with you these funny Thanksgiving quotes that will surely leave a smile on your loved ones’ faces. Share them as you enjoy your dinner or while you’re appreciating a good glass of wine.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. – Johnny Carson

If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. – Mitch Hedberg

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. – Craig Ferguson

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. – Phyllis Diller

We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin

It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it’s the seconds.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. – Melanie White

Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are? – Kenny Rogerson

I’m excited about Thanksgiving because I love unwelcome parenting advice from relatives I see twice a year.

I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. – Jon Stewart

Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. – Melanie White

I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that. – Howie Mandel

See Also: Best Thanksgiving Wishes, Messages & GreetingsThanksgiving Wishes, Messages & Cards

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID proving I’m not a butterball turkey. – Just Bill

I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. – Damien Fahey

What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.

Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.

They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. – Melanie White

See Also: Happy Thanksgiving Quotes for Family

Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.

A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying “that smells good” to be helping. – Jimmy Fallon

You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.” – Dylan Brody

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. A building can’t jump at all!

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied “No they’re dead”.

I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky. – Melanie White

Hope you liked these funny Thanksgiving quotes. If you know any great jokes and quotes on Thanksgiving we missed out on, feel free to share them in the comment section below.

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Explore 355 Gratitude Quotes by authors including John F. Kennedy, William Arthur Ward, and Melody Beattie at BrainyQuote.

It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of Thanksgiving. If you’re having friends and family over for a special Thanksgiving dinner, you’re most likely busy in the kitchen prepping a delicious turkey, mixing the stuffing, whipping up appetizers, and baking desserts. Plus, you’re trying to come up with fun games and activities to keep all the kids entertained as you prepare. (Tip: Turn on one of these delightful movies and they’ll be enthralled for at least a couple of hours!)

Every year hosting the over-the-top feast is worth the effort, but it can feel overwhelming in the moment. You may find that you were so busy checking tasks off of your list that you forgot to embrace the most important parts of the holiday: Reconnecting with your loved ones and expressing gratitude for all the blessings in your life. These Thanksgiving quotes, which are a mix of inspiring, funny, and insightful sayings from brilliant authors and famous figures, can serve as a wonderful reminder to reflect on the true meaning of Thanksgiving. So this year, as everyone is gathered around the dinner table, share some of these words of wisdom with your friends and family and take the time to soak in just how lucky you are to be celebrating with them.

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Thanksgiving funnies – The third Thursday of November it is, so the time has come to wish all our American buddies (and others) a very happy and especially merry Thanksgiving! May rivers of booze flow your way, and may the unbuttoning of your pants synchronize melodiously. A little time to spare between two glasses? If yes, keep on scrolling down!

Wishing you a delightful Thanksgiving and a smile-tainted PMSLweb moment!

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Shop from 1000+ unique Funny Sarcastic Quotes Posters on Redbubble. Hang your Happy Turkey Day T-Shirt Funny Thanksgiving Gift Poster. Favorite.

Gratitude Quotes

Looming for inspirational quotes about accepting criticism?

Accepting criticism is not something that anyone enjoys and seeks out. However, if you look at people who are successful, vs. people who are often stuck, a deciding factor is often their willingness to listen to criticism and learn from it.

While not all criticism is valid, some surely is. Decide what applies and learn from it, and let the rest go. Look at the motivations of the person who is offering it to you.

Even if the message is not always delivered in the best manner, if the ultimate goal to keep you from making a mistake, or to help you to grow?

Even people who are simply hyper-critical, can speak kernels of truth sometimes. Please read below some powerful thoughts on accepting criticism.

Great and Inspiring Criticism Quotes

1.) “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Aristotle

2.) “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie

3.) “When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.” – Judith Martin

4.) “The pleasure of criticizing takes away from us the pleasure of being moved by some very fine things.” – Jean de La Bruyère

5.) “You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.” – John Wooden

6.) “Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.” – Emmet Fox

7.) “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.” – Benjamin Franklin

8.) “Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” – Neil Gaiman

9.) “The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” – Norman Vincent Peale

10.) “When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” – Unknown

11.) “It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.” – Daisaku Ikeda

12.) “The artist doesn’t have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don’t have the time to read reviews.” – William Faulkner

13.) “If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion.” – Calvin Coolidge

14.) “I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” – Charles Schwab

15.) “I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

16.) “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

17.) “Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” – Elvis Presley

18.) “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” – Frank A. Clark

19.) “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” – Gary Chapman


Criticism Quotes and How To Handle It

20.) “Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own.” – Unknown

21.) “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.

So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

22.) “Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.” – Unknown

23.) “Who do you spend time with? Criticizers or encouragers? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Your life is too important for anything less.” – Steve Goodier

24.) “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” – Winston Churchill

25.) “I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

26.) “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

27.) “That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.” – Jonathan Swift

28.) “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.” – William Arthur Ward

29.) “A man interrupted one of the Buddha’s lectures with a flood of abuse.

Buddha waited until he had finished and then asked him:

If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?

To the one who offered it, said the man.

Then, said the Buddha, I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.”

“Children need models rather than critics.”Joseph Joubert

30.) “We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.” – Michel de Montaigne

31.) “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar

32.) “If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only by their conduct, we shall soon reach a very false conclusion.” – Calvin Coolidge

33.) “The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” – Elbert Hubbard

34.) “We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.” – Michel de Montaigne

35.) “When we speak evil of others, we generally condemn ourselves.” – Publius Syrus

Criticism Quotes and How To Respond to Them

36.) “The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.” – Oscar Wilde

37.) “He who throws dirt always loses ground.” – Unknown

38.) “You’re never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you’re never as bad as they say when you lose.” – Lou Holtz

39.) “One mustn’t criticize other people on grounds where he can’t stand perpendicular himself.” – Mark Twain


40.) “He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help.” – Abraham Lincoln

41.) “You can’t let praise or criticisms get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.” – John Wooden

42.) “When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.” – Plato

43.) “Most people have been brainwashed into believing that their job is to copyedit the world, not to design it.” – Seth Godin

44.) “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me, and I may be forced to love you.” – Norman Vincent Peale

45.) “A creative life cannot be sustained by approval any more than it can be destroyed by criticism.” – Will Self

46.) “It is a thing of no great difficulty to raise objections against another man’s oration–nay, it is very easy; but to produce a better in its place is a work extremely troublesome.” – Plutarch

47.) “The individual must not merely wait and criticize, he must defend the cause the best he can. The fate of the world will be such as the world deserves.”  – Albert Einstein

48.) “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

49.) “If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” – François de La Rochefoucauld

50.) “Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.” – Elvis Presley

51.) “Boredom, after all, is a form of criticism.” – Wendell Phillips

52.) “Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought.” – Margaret Chase Smith

53.) “If we are bold enough to point out problems, we must be brave enough to try to solve them.” – Robert Alan Silverstein

More Criticism Quotes

54.) “If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.” – Mark Twain

55.) “One of the criteria for national leadership should therefore be a talent for understanding, encouraging, and making constructive use of vigorous criticism.” – Carl Sagan

56.) “Blame is safer than praise.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

57.) “Don’t let compliments get to your head and don’t let criticism get to your heart.”  – Lysa TerKeurst

58.) “Those of us who shout the loudest about Americanism are all too frequently those who…ignore some of the basic principles of Americanism–the right to criticize, the right to hold unpopular beliefs, the right to protest, the right of independent thought.” – Margaret Chase Smith

59.) “Think before you speak is criticism’s motto; speak before you think, creation’s.” – E. M. Forster

60.) “Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.” – Marshall Rosenberg

61.) “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.” – Abraham Lincoln

62.) “Do what you feel in your heart to be right–for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

63.) “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” – Frank A. Clark

64.) “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” Napoleon Hill

65.) “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill

66.) “If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them.” Mohandas K. Gandhi

67.) “My opinions and principles are subjects of just criticism.” – Victoria Woodhull

68.) “What distinguishes modern art from the art of other ages is criticism.” – Octavio Paz

69.) “Critics sometimes appear to be addressing themselves to works other than those I remember writing.” – Joyce Carol Oates

70.) “If someone criticizes you, give them a compliment.” – Debasish Mridha

71.) “Learn to see the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.” – Anonymous

72.) “Appreciate the constructive; ignore the destructive.” – John Douglas

73.) “I have already settled it for myself, so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” – Georgia O’Keeffe

74.) “How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” – Benjamin Disraeli

75.) “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.” – Bob Dylan

76.) “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn–and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie

77.) “But instead of spending our lives running towards our dreams, we are often running away from a fear of failure or a fear of criticism.” – Eric Wright

78.) “Concern over criticism clogs creativity.” – Duane Alan Hahn

79.) “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

80.) “Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.” – Emmit Fox

81.) “Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults.” Socrates

82.) “A critic is a legless man who teaches running.” – Channing Pollock

83.) “The pleasure we feel in criticizing robs us from being moved by very beautiful things.” – Jean De La Bruyere

How do you think these criticism quotes will help you?

While it might be difficult to hear and take in, let the hurt feelings and manner of the message go, and ask yourself what you can learn from it, if you can, and how it might make you even better at what you do. This can be at work, in your relationships, or in anything that matters to you.

Take the message and not the messenger in many instances, and you will learn a great deal. None of us is without room for improvement, and if we choose not to be defensive, to take the meaningful messages out, and to let the negative and hurt feelings go, we can only move closer toward success.

sarcastic thanksgiving quotes

A dose of humor is the perfect way to celebrate Turkey Day. Get a kick out of these funny Thanksgiving quotes from TV shows and movies.

sarcastic thanksgiving quotes
Written by Yok
1 Comment
  • Mosho

    MoshoOctober 10, 2018 12:04 AM

    Now that's something like it!

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