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Thank you you make a difference

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Thank you you make a difference
May 25, 2019 Teacher Thanks 2 comments

Впервые в жизни он проигрывал и не ощущал в себе способности справиться с возникающими проблемами. Его внезапный, иррациональный страх постепенно уступил место более глубокой и основательной тревоге. До этого момента Хедрон мало думал о последствиях своих деяний. Собственные интересы и мягкая, но подлинная симпатия к Элвину были достаточными мотивами.

Хотя Хедрон поощрял Элвина и помогал ему, он никогда не верил, что подобное произойдет на самом деле.

On July 4, 2011, I woke up with the title Inspirational Perspective™ etched in my mind, clear as day. That morning, I purchased the website domain and wrote my first blog post titled, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” I was terrified, but I clicked the publish button anyway. That day, I made a personal commitment to post a blog every week.

The blog led to the radio show. In 2012, one of my blog readers contacted me and asked me to do a radio interview on her WVON 1690 AM radio program. Shortly after the interview, the president of WVON Radio, Melody Spann-Cooper, contacted me and told me she enjoyed the interview and that I really should be on the radio. A month or two later, I presented her with a proposal for my show idea and she accepted.

In February 2013, I launched my Saturday night radio program, Inspirational Perspective™ on WVON 1690 AM. Again, I was terrified; but I pushed past my fear and hosted my first show. That was seventy-six shows ago.

I’m often asked why do I sacrifice my personal time to blog every week.

I’m often asked why do I sacrifice my Saturday evening’s to travel to the WVON studio on the south side of Chicago and host a show at 10 o’clock at night.

Well here’s why…

I wouldn’t have received or achieved any of the wonderful blessings in my life, if many other people hadn’t sacrificed their personal time to provide me insight and guidance.

Throughout my life, I’ve had the unwavering support of my family and close friends, but there are so many others that have made significant contributions in my life.

There are a number of school teachers, Sunday school teachers, Vacation Bible school teachers, coaches, youth leaders, professors, counselors, pastors and previous bosses who willingly sacrificed their valuable time to invest in my growth and development.

They all made a difference.

Their time mattered.
Their words mattered.
The lesson they taught mattered.
…and they gave it all freely.

Now I have an opportunity to give back, and because of the difference so many others have made in my life, I know that I must make a difference where I can.

Because of them…
I know the time I give, will matter to someone.
I know the words I write and speak, will matter to someone.
I know the lessons I teach, will matter to someone.

It will make a difference!

There’s something else I know for certain; the work I do to fulfill my purpose on this planet would not be possible without you.

You read and share the blog.
That makes a difference!

You listen to the radio show and share it with your friends and loved ones.
That makes a difference!

You share Inspirational Perspective™ posts or retweet the tweets to your network.
That makes a difference!

Your positive comments, remarks and emails all make a huge difference.

The love and support you provide as I take on my life’s work and purpose makes a significant difference.

It’s because of you, that a blog that was nothing more than an idea, has become an interactive channel for inspiration and the foundation of a nationally broadcast radio show, with international influence.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think about where this all began and what it has become.
…and it’s all because of you.

For this I want to say thank you.
Thank you so very much for all the love and support over the last few years.
From the bottom of my heart…thanks!

You are amazing. You are great. You make a difference.

Keep being all those things everywhere you go and stay inspired, it’s a lifestyle choice!

About the Author:

Linal Harris
Global Entrepreneur – Certified Life Coach – Media Personality – Speaker

Linal Harris is a global entrepreneur, certified life coach, author, and media personality. As the founder of Inspirational Perspective® Publishing, LLC and Insights 4 Life™ Coaching, LLC, Harris challenges his global audience and coaching clients to Murder Mediocrity® and live their best life possible. Harris concentrates his work as an ontological coach with clients on what he calls the 4 pillars of life; the relationship we have to ourselves, the relationships we have with others, our relationship to work and money, and the connection we have to our spirit and life’s purpose. Harris coaches CEO’s, executives, entrepreneurs, athletes and celebrities. Harris is the author of “Slay Your Goals”, where he provides his readers with scientific and research backed tips for achieving their goals. Harris is an expert goal-setter and has been called upon by Fortune 500 companies to assist with setting their strategic priorities, facilitate goal-setting sessions and provide inspirational talks.

To stay connected, be sure to follow me on the following social media outlets by hitting the links below:

For daily inspiration – text “INSPIRED” to 43783 – Enrollment is free!

Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying.

Sometimes, we only need to do the simplest things to become happier versions of ourselves and become blessings to others.

It doesn’t take much money to put a smile on someone’s face, it doesn’t take one whole day to cheer someone up, and it doesn’t take all your might to appreciate someone you don’t really know. All it takes is a simple gesture of kindness to make the biggest difference.

Has life been keeping us too busy to realize when blessings come our way or how beautiful the world is? Have we forgotten to be kind to each other just because? Do we always have to find a valid reason to give before we do?

Sadly, this is the case, especially for us young professionals.

It’s easy to fall into a kind of lifestyle that constantly pushes you into a rat race and leaves you with no time to breathe. Take time to reflect now and read on to know the easiest things you can do that can and will make the biggest difference in your life.

Let People See Through Your Eyes

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. That’s why it bothers me when someone shakes my hand or approaches me but fails to look me in the eye.

The simplest yet most genuine eye contact can make the biggest impact.

It can make introductions of two new individuals memorable or make two old friends reconnect in a special kind of way. See to it that you are fully engaged with the person you’re talking to, in order to to show the utmost respect.

Say Thank You To The Thankless

Celebrities, public speakers and leaders will always be overwhelmed by how much appreciation people give them, but what about those who have jobs and responsibilities we don’t normally take the time to pay thanks for?

Saying thank you to the waiter who tended to your needs, the doorman who opened the door for you or even the lady you bought a ticket from is a great way to radiate positivity and practice kindness. Smile and say thank you to everyday people you might normally ignore.

Keep Some Memories to Yourself

Sometimes, the most amazing memories are the ones you keep to yourself and to the people you experience them with. Your whole life doesn’t have to be an open book or, to modernize the term, a social media celebration.

Go out, have fun and try something new without posting your agenda on social media.

Make some memories that are just yours and yours to keep. It doesn’t mean sharing is bad; just try to take some special bits of your life and keep them all to yourself. Feel the difference and revel in that genuine, unfaltered happiness.

Stop and Look Around

The best things in life are free, but you won’t discover them if you don't look for them. Abandon the world for a while and just stop, sit down and look around.

See how people laugh, hear the raindrops fall and let that moment take you away. Sometimes, the only way to find home is to get lost in something, somewhere. Find your safe place and make it a habit to go there, where you belong the most.

Subconsciously, we’re taught to take everything for granted, and we fail to appreciate the beauty of what’s around us.

When was the last time you enjoyed looking at the sunrise? When was the last time you went out to sing in the rain? When was the last time you wrote a handwritten letter to a friend? When was the last time you walked without thinking about your destination, just to enjoy the moment?

Ultimately, less is more because less is easier. Start with the simplest acts of kindness and you’ll be amazed at the things you can do as time goes by.

Start appreciating the simplest blessings and you’ll be surprised at how much life really has in store for you. Doing these easy things will enable you to do greater things once you build a habit out of it.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

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OPINION: Most of us were taught that saying “thank you” is simply the polite thing to do. But recent research in social psychology suggests that saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners – it also serves to build and maintain social relationships.

This premise has its base in the find-remind-and-bind theory of gratitude, proposed by US psychologist Sara Algoe, from the University of North Carolina. According to this theory, gratitude prompts:

  • the initiation of new social relationships (a find function)
  • orients people to existing social relationships (a remind function)
  • promotes maintenance of and investment in these relationships (a bind function)

As with all emotions, gratitude can be both felt and expressed. The evidence on how feeling gratitude functions to find, remind, and bind in social relationships is robust. From promoting helping and trust to lowering aggression, feeling grateful gives rise to a wide range of outcomes that benefit both parties in a social relationship.

Turning to expressing gratitude, the existing work is relatively sparse. The evidence that does exist largely focuses on ongoing social relationships, such as those between romantic partners.

When we say ‘thank you’

It only takes a moment of reflection to realise that expressions of gratitude are not solely relegated to such ongoing social relationships.

When a stranger holds a door, when a barista hands over the morning espresso or when we step off the bus, we typically (or should!) say “thank you”.

The question becomes: how do these expressions of gratitude among strangers shape social relations? Might hearing “thank you” help us “find” new social relationships?

So my colleague Monica Y Bartlett, from Gonzaga University in Washington, US, and I carried out the first empirical test of the “find” function of expressing gratitude among strangers, with the results published this month in the journal Emotion.

In the study, we sought to create a situation in the lab where we could manipulate the expression of gratitude in a realistic way. So we asked our 70 undergraduate participants to help pilot a new mentoring program supposedly run by the university.

As part of the pilot, all of our participants were to act as mentors by giving advice on a writing sample from a high-school student mentee. The writing sample was one that the mentee planned to use in their university admissions package.

This setup ensured that we satisfied one of the core starting points of gratitude – the granting of help, resources or a favour.

A week later, we brought the participants back to the lab. All participants received a note purportedly written by the high school mentee. For half of the participants – those in the control condition - this note simply acknowledged the advice.

I received your feedback through the editing program. I hope to use the paper for my college applications.

Here comes the manipulation of gratitude expression. Critically, for the other half of the participants, the note also included an expression of gratitude.

Thank you SO much for all the time and effort you put into doing that for me!

This design meant that all participants received a note – just the content of the note differed across conditions.

Participants next completed a series of questionnaires assessing their impressions of the mentee, and then were informed that the study was complete.

Except, that wasn’t quite true. The researcher casually mentioned that the pilot program organisers had left a set of notecards for mentors to complete if they chose to. The program organisers would ensure that the mentee received the note if the mentee were accepted to the university.

The researcher made it clear that leaving a note was completely optional and then left the room. Participants were thus left alone to decide whether to write a note, and, if so, what to say.

This note-writing opportunity served as our dependent measure of actual social affiliation. Would participants take the opportunity to establish a social relationship with their mentee? Would this depend on whether the mentee had expressed gratitude?

How far does gratitude go?

Perhaps not surprisingly, all but three participants wrote a welcome note (university students are, after all, a pretty kind bunch). Promisingly for the “find” hypothesis, all three participants who didn’t leave a note were in the control condition.

To test the “find” hypothesis more directly, we coded what participants wrote in those notes and a pattern quickly became clear.

Of the participants who had received a note expressing gratitude from their mentee, 68% left their contact details in their note. Only 42% of those who had received the control note left any contact details. The difference was statistically significant.

Next we tested what might explain this difference. For this, we looked to how participants rated their mentees. Specifically, we considered two dimensions – interpersonal warmth (kindness and friendliness) and competence (skill and intelligence).

We reasoned that if gratitude expressions function to service social relationships, the effect should be better explained by warmth than by competence.

Sure enough, mentees were perceived as more interpersonally warm when they had expressed gratitude. Further, this increase in perceived interpersonal warmth explained the increase in likelihood of leaving contact information for the gratitude-expressing mentees. This wasn’t the case for competence.

The takeaway message

Saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners. At the end of the day, initiating a social bond can be risky. We need to be selective and choose to invest in those bonds with the highest likelihood of being a good investment. In this context, an expression of gratitude serves as a signal that the expresser is a good candidate for a future social relationship.

Expanding the premise a bit further, perhaps the gratitude challenges that have swept social media (in their 7, 10, 21, 100, or 365 day forms) might have downstream benefit.

In these challenges, a person posts verbal statements or photographs of things for which they are grateful on a daily basis via Facebook, Instagram, Blog, or Twitter – in essence, a very public and ongoing gratitude journal.

There’s little doubt this has a positive effect on the social relationships directly implicated in these expressions (between romantic partners, family members, and friends), though somefind it annoying and question whether it’s sustainable. Our findings suggest that undertaking such gratitude challenges might have an effect on how even strangers come to see us.

While many questions remain for future research, our research provides initial evidence for the power of saying “thank you” to strangers. Something to keep in mind the next time you pick up your dry cleaning or are given a seat on the train.

Lisa A Williams is a Lecturer, School of Psychology at UNSW.

This opinion piece was first published in The Conversation.

Take time to reflect now and read on to know the easiest things you can do that can and will make the biggest difference in your life.

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“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,
"It made a difference for that one.”
― Loren Eiseley

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thank you you make a difference

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2 Comments
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